The Cat’s Luscious Coat

Once again, it’s a dairy product in relation to my grandma. Oh dear.

My mom and I are making dinner at my grandma’s house. As we’re cooking grandma is lamenting about how we always leave her fridge “over flowing with food.” (We do not, maybe a green onion or something small gets left behind but never is her fridge over flowing with our food. It is in fact over flowing with condiments from 2007 or earlier.) Her fridge is always full, full of foods that a single person can not truly eat…a gallon jar of Claussen pickle spears, a five-pound bucket of feta cheese, ten ears of corn, four different opened jars of red pepper jelly, and so on.

As she’s lecturing us both on leaving so much food at her house she stops and asks if we like cottage cheese. Uh oh! Based on the last cottage cheese incident the answer is always no. My mom tells her that she eats it but she doesn’t want any. Then she moves on to me, I don’t even bother with saying that I like cottage cheese I just say…and I must say a bit too forcefully…

“I don’t want your cottage cheese, I’m not taking it.”

Not a deterrent.

Grandma continues about how the cottage cheese is good cheese, it’s from Spartan stores. She has two tubs of cottage cheese and she’s getting another two the next day.

My mom just keeps asking her why she keeps buying food, food that there is no way she could ever eat. The cottage cheese she had wasn’t the normal size tubs either, they were the 24 oz tubs. I even have problems finishing off one of those tubs before it spoils and she already had two with another two on the way! Her excuse was that she was having Meijer cottage cheese brought to her which is the best kind, so she didn’t want the Spartan cottage cheese (the cottage cheese was in fact Country Fresh, not Spartan store brand).

To have so many tubs of cottage cheese because of a brand is silly…at least in that quantity. Even stranger because my mom or myself visits about every other weekend. If she really wanted Meijer cottage cheese we could bring it with us, so the need to stock up on a brand of cottage cheese is a bit moot. (The closest Meijer store is about an hour away from my grandma and her driving skills are, shall we say, not as sharp as they used to be.) Not to mention my Aunt also visits fairly regularly as well. I happen to know that my my Aunt (and myself) shop regularly at Meijer.

My grandma ended up talking my mom into taking one of her 24 oz tubs of cottage cheese, which will end up getting fed to her dog. My mom won’t be able to eat that much cottage cheese that quickly – I wouldn’t be able to either. I ended up with a tub of Ricotta. My mom also ended up with a bag of Feta cheese as well. The Ricotta was a mistake, my grandma thought it was cottage cheese (because she needed yet another tub?!), the feta came from Sam’s Club – the five pound tub I mentioned earlier.

We get to my house and I’m taking the food that was pawned off on me from my grandmas out of my mom’s cooler – when I noticed the Feta. I didn’t know my mom even liked Feta so I offered to take it since my husband loves it. This feta also happened to be the kind that came pre-flavored.

The next day I decide to make stuffed mushroom caps and use my grandma’s flavored feta cheese – mostly to use it up since we already had an opened package of our own in the fridge. I dump roughly 3/4 of the package in the stuffing mixture and then see a lump of something in the cheese package. I think “hmm, the spices clumped together” and proceed to start to break up the “spices.” It wasn’t spices! It was the largest chunk of weird mold I’ve ever witnessed in a package of cheese!

Needless to say I had to throw out my stuffing mixture and start over. I also had to call my mom and let her know of the moldy feta.

In my grandma’s defense, the cheese most likely did come from the store bad…at least that is what I hope.


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