Cats

My cat is an asshole. She truly is. 

At some point today she got something all over her back leg. I thought it was pee. She has been pissing in the house once again. Last year was the start of this marking thing in the house. We’ve had the cats for seven years, never was their an issue until last summer. We went thought a saga trying to figure out what the issue was, thinking it was the neurotic cat that has issues. Turns out it wasn’t. 

This cat walks out side past me, I look at her and think. WTH? Did she piss all over herself? 

I send the Husband out to look at her. I touched it…the leg I thought had pee all over it and sniffed. Nope, didn’t smell like pee but still have no idea what this substance was all over her back leg. 

I picked her up and said “Welp, turdface, you’re going to hate this.” 

And then tossed her in the kiddy pool we have set up for the dogs. 

In the seven years we’ve had her she has NEVER gotten a bath, because she’s a little ass hole and will try to gouge your eyes out when you’re sleeping ten days later. 

She gets out of the pool, and proceeds to “run” away. The running consted of her trotting two or three steps and then shaking her back legs like some annoying blade of grass was tickling her foot. 

I then tried to chase her down with some soap. 

She stopped looked right at and pee’d in my general direction. 

Yeah, this cat tried to pee on me because I threw her in the kiddy pool. I have never ever been pee’d at by a cat, no matter how angry they were. 

I then had the Husband catch her using what I call the “arm pit hold” – it’s the best hold for a cat ever because they can’t bite you, or get you with their front or back claws. All they can do is hang there and be angry. 

I soaped up her back legs then Husband swirled her around in the kiddy pool. Then he thew her a safe distance away from any people or dogs. Oh, she was so angry. I was amazed at the sounds coming out of this cats mouth. She then jumped the fence and ran to the front of the house, complaining the entire way. 

She did let me pick her up with a towel and dry her off, then she wanted in the house where she spent the rest of the evening giving us both death stares and growling at the other cat. 

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