Nursing homes. I can’t say I have anything good to say about any one that I’ve ever had the displeasure to need to visit.
My mom’s frustration level with my grandma has been growing, daily, I think. I do not blame her one bit from the stories she tells. Last week at dinner as she was telling me the newest shenanigans I said “At least you still have you’re sister….I just have me.” My mom then said she felt sorry for me in that respect because at least when it gets to be too much and she needs to step away for a bit she can tag in her sister, and vise versa. It’s just me and someday I’m going to be the one trying to make my mom use a cell phone properly as she tells me it doesn’t work and keeps showing her a broken bridge.
At the nursing home my mom was asking grandma how things were going. My grandma was giving her a story about how they don’t take care of her, nothing is taken care of, things are never cleaned up and so on. My mom states that she’s going to call the nurse in right then and there and get this taken care of. Then my grandma’s story completely changes and that wasn’t the case. So my mom ends up slightly yelling at grandma about are they or are they not taking care of her because if not mom is going to make things happen. This ended with my mom calling the nursing home and scheduling a meeting to discuss a number of things, like long term care and quality of care at the nursing home. When my grandma found this out she told my mom she needn’t come to the meeting (that my mom scheduled.) My mom thought it might be because she would be caught in her drama-ing shenanigans.
The the meeting happens. In them meeting they start discussing longer term care. As it is with Grandma’s insurance she has 100 days to be magically rehabilitated or get kicked to the curb. Well, in the eyes of insurance anyway. In reality it means after 100 days she has to cover her own full cost of care. And that’s 100 days total, not 100 days from fall and another 100 days after the broken ankle. Her 100 days was starting to get close, the nursing home had been saying all along that her 100 days was up February 10th. There was no reason to start to fret but time to be a bit proactive. The nursing home person looks at their paper work and goes all non-chantly looks like the 100 days up January 25…and then moves on from the topic. My mom is all like wha..what…WHAT?. Nursing home lady come back with “oh is there a problem,” and according to my mom she looked at the lady and said “What is the date today?” Knowing my mom this was given with a consenting stare down look that says “You a fucking moronic imbecile.” See, the day of the meeting was the 20th, Grandma had to be out of the nursing home by the 25th. That’s not exactly a slew of time to get into an assisted care facility in less than 5 days, and day 1 was already shot. The nursing home lady actually said “is that a problem.”
No the nursing home would not kick Grandma out on the street. They would have just charged her $300 a day to stay there.
The nursing home people said they would call an assisted living center to get Grandma set up and would call my mom back when they found a place she could move to. My mom gave them the assisted living center that was the preferred place. The next day my mom calls the nursing home back after she gets out of work. The nursing home person, who was supposed to have all of this set up and call my mom the next day never called…or bothered to return her calls.
At which point my mom called the assisted living home. They nursing home never bothered call them or get anything set up. My mom set up her own meeting with the assisted living home. After that the assisted living home took over. They got everything set up with the nursing home for the move including scheduling ambulance services and the works. The assisted living center is loaning Grandma furniture, including table and chairs, and a few nightstands, (maybe a dresser). They called her doctor for a prescription for a hospital bed and corndinated the delivery. The only thing at this point that needs to be supplied are linens and clothing. The assisted living home is set up like super small one room apartments. The people that live there bring in all their own furniture and belongings. The only thing that makes it not like a regular apartment is the one room-ness and that the main doors are locked down.
it’s kind of like a dormitory in college….actually it’s a lot like a dormitory in college…only with old people…and some have dementia. On second thought, dementia can’t really be considered as an unlikeness to a college dormitory. It’s just dementia caused by inebriation as opposed to old age. There is no bar night, but there is bingo night(s).
Based on the nursing homes lack of timely information and acting so nonchalant about the need to move Grandma I seriously think they were trying to find a way to keep here there longer in an attempt to get the daily rate. I think it just sounds a wee bit shady to me.
The assisted living center was the same one Grandma stayed at previously for a short stint and where my dad’s mom lived for the last few years of her life until she was moved into an Alsihimers only facility. When my mom went to the meeting with the assisted living center my mom commented on the smell..or lack of smell. It always stunk like old people. You know the smell. It’s a mixture of unwashed people, a touch of pee, and over powering perfume (or Old Spice aftershave if it’s a grandpa). When Mom made the comment the new director said “That is an area we have been trying very diligently to over come.”
The assisted living center has also picked up a few new upgrades since other grandma lived there as well. They now have someone come in and take all the lab work needed from the patients once a week on scheduled day. No more trying to take Grandma out to the doctor’s or hospital for blood draws and what have you. They now have an on staff doctor or basic medical care. Grandma’s therapy will be done as “in home care” taking place in the assisted living home.
I think at this point Grandma is feeling like she will never get home again. My mom told her that if she wants to get home she has to be able to get in and out of bed, get in and out of a chair and take herself to the bathroom, but until those things happen she can’t go home on her own.
Another positive note on moving to the assisted living home it won’t be so weird trying to visit in her a room half the size of my dorm in college that is then split in half again with a curtain with another person living on the other side. Seriously you couldn’t even turn around in that room when Grandma was in bed. If she was out of bed in her wheel chair you had to visit with her by standing in the hallway.