How to Brown Meat

How does the Husband not know how to brown hamburger you ask? Ah that is a good story as well.

Many…many many many year ago now Husband and I started dating. A very strange courtship that I laugh about to this day. I don’t think Husband is as amused by it as I am. Maybe he wanted something more traditional than me drinking 1/2 a fifth of Burrent’s and going to his fraternity house and stating to him “You can ask me out on a date if you want to, but you deleted my phone number so here it is again……. come on get out your phone…”


One night I get a phone call and he asks me to come over for dinner. I asked who was making dinner, figuring it was one of his other room mates. Both of his room mates were good cooks and sometimes the roommates would cook a family style meal and invite over random people for dinner. I figured it was pasta night. In their tiny tiny kitchen that had no cabinetry to story anything they had a shelving unit. One of those wire racks that typically are used in garages (oh hay, guess where that shelving rack happens to be…in my garage). Each roommate had a “food shelf” on the other roommates designated food area were ingredients to make meals, spices, seasoning packs, typical grocery items. My husbands shelf consisted of nothing but box meals. Betty Crocker came out with a product that was litterly a meal in a box. You didn’t even need to supply meat, it came in a can with everything else. In the mood for beef stroganoff, open a can of canned meat and gravy mix with noodles and this other can of condensed milk. All you needed was water for these things. (Amazingly they were actually pretty good.) That’s all he ate, or macaroni and cheese or other similar box-esq meals. Naturally when he called to ask me for dinner I assumed he wouldn’t be the one cooking.

He insisted that he wasted to make me dinner and that he was cooking. I asked him what he was making for dinner, tacos. I then asked “do you even know how to brown meat?” Which is kind of a trick question because it’s just cooking the meat. It was dead silent on the other end. I then said I would come over and help him make dinner. The response was a resounding NOOOOOOOO and that he knew what he was doing. ooookay, call me if you need help with the instructions. He said he would call me when it was done.

I get a phone call some time later, and walk over for dinner. Upon arrival I hear his room mate’s girlfriend (and my future roommate) shout out “Hey! You need to work on that man of your’s he doesn’t know what browning meat is!” Then the room mate came wheeling out on his his desk chair laughing and telling me that as soon as I got off the phone with Husband he had to ask his room mate how to brown meat and roommate had to explain that browning meat as per the instructions was nothing more than just cooking the meat in a pan.

None of the taco shells were warmed up either. He even had a friend helping him in this taco adventure both were dumfounded with I told them that they should be heated through, but the kicker was when one of them pulled out sliced american cheese instead of the shredded. They did have the shredded.


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