I’ve mentioned many times that Grandma is a bit of a drama queen. Such as this post Drama where there is none. I’m off running her taxes, which she acts like it’s some heroic endeavor that I had to ride 50 miles in a blizzard on a goat, face untold horrors and do this all blind folded. She also gave me money telling me that “Gas isn’t cheep!” Uhhh. Well, no gas isn’t cheep but driving about 3 miles away three times for a total of what…18(ish) miles for the round trips, really not the big of a deal.
I did learn ages ago to just take the money after watching some epic battles when she would try and give money to my mom or my aunt (it’s like $10-20 when she does this). They would go through these fiascos where Grandma would try to give them dollars and they would take them and then they would try to sneak them back to her and then she would find it and be all “WTF!” and then hide the dollars on one of the kids. This would go on for hours sometimes, and other people got dragged into these dollar wars. They would get so sneaky that they would put the money in an envelope and then give it to someone else to give to the recipient. I also remember being a pawn in these dollar games. I decided that I wasn’t going to do that. I would just politely refuse and then if she insisted I would take the money and be grateful.
But I digress on the issues of dollars, which is just kind of silly.
There were two scandals this week. One dealing with a candy bar the other with Grams trying to stir up trouble.
They play bingo at this home, pretty much every night. My dads mom refused to play bingo at the home even though she was an avid bingoer stating that “They don’t play for money, and I play to WIN!” They play for candy bars, kingsize bars, of good candy; considering my dad’s mom happened to be a candy-holic I saw no issue with bingo not being real money, but that wasn’t her thing. She wanted to win the dollars. On a side note when dad’s mom said “I play to WIN,” to me I almost did a spit-take but was able to hold it together until after I left. See, my dad liked to play Hearts online. I happened to be in the room when he was playing once, he was getting himself all in a tizzy. He was bitching about all the people leaving the games and it pissed him off. I started asking questions as he was telling me about his games…more or less bitching about the other gamers and also learned my dad had zero Hearts gaming ediqute. The people were leaving because they didn’t want to play with him – he was actually known as being an ass so much so that people left games with him in them. He goes says “I play to WIN!” I looked over at him and said “Holy shit, you’re a damn grifer….In Hearts.” After that I kept trying to get him to roll an undead warlock in World of Warcraft because I could totally see him corpse camping some newbs just for the fun of it (not so fun for those getting camped – we’ve all been there).
I did get my mom to try playing a human mage. That ended horribly. Sort of horribly, my parents did spend a few hours giggling at the computer as my mom ran herself into walls and my dad shouted at her to “Kill that guy,” only to have my mom say “I can’t kill that guy it’s a guard.” Then a few moments later “Kill that guy,” followed by “I can’t that’s another player.” “Why can’t you kill other players?” As if the entire point is to just kill other players (like I was saying, undead warlock – perfect). I shouted back “because you have to get past level 2!”
And here I am rambling again.
So Grandma wins these candy bars, she happened to get a Butterfinger and I do love the Butterfingers, but I’m not a big candy eater either. Grandma was saying that she was saving the candy bars and then she was going to give them away. I could have asked for the candy but I didn’t because I’m not going to ask. Now is she offered I would have totally gone for the Butterfinger. I happen to mention the candy bars to my mom about how she’s saving them to give them away, and my mom says that she’s saving them up until she has enough for everyone. I said something silly about Butterfingers being the best, so them at some point my mom mentions to Grandma that I like Butterfingers so Grandma gives my mom the Butterfinger and tells her to give it to me.
Well, my mom forgets and then I go visit Grandma. The first thing Grandma asks me is if I had got my candy bar. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Actually she said “Have you seen your mom lately.” “Yeah, we went over for dinner on Sunday.” When Grandma found out my mom didn’t give me the candy bar is was SCANDAL! Grandma goes WHAT? I gave her that candy bar last week to give you! What do you think she did with it! Like my mom hid away and ate this king size candy bar to spite me and my grandma. I just said she probably just forgot about it. Grandma tells me I better tell my mom I want my candy bar. oooookkkkkkk, got it!
Then we do the whole dinner with the family thing and my mom out of the blue goes “Did you see what’s in my candy drawer?” I did just check out the candy drawer and said “Yes, you have a bunch of good stuff in there.” She’s been doing this dieting thing so her candy drawer has had shit for choices. This week there were some of those double chocolate candy/cookie things from Keebler, Dove milk chocolate and some other stuff I don’t like. “Did you see you’re Butterfinger?”
I did see the Butterfinger but I didn’t thing anything of it and went for a Dove chocolate because they are small. I then learned that my mom got the riot act from my Grandma about not giving me my candy bar and that surely she must have eaten it instead of just forgetting about the candy.
Grandma also tried to stir up some trouble about another issue, but that is another story, for another day.